The power of being a good person, not just a nice one

How often have you felt the pressure to be "nice," even when it meant ignoring your own values and opinions?

Growing up, I always felt pressured to smile and act nicely. In Latin cultures especially, there’s a big expectation from family and society that women should always be polite, smiling, and agreeable, or else risk being seen as “ugly” or unkind. We’re even expected to greet people we don’t necessarily like with a kiss, simply because "that's how it is." This conditioning teaches us early on to prioritize others' comfort over our own.

I remember being a kid, sometimes not wanting to greet people with a kiss and being told it looked bad. Or when I wasn’t smiling, being reminded that “a lady should always smile.” These messages shaped my early beliefs and led me to set aside my own feelings in favor of what others expected. But where did all this “niceness” lead me? Nowhere, except to being taken advantage of by people who thought they could treat me however they wanted. What you’re not changing, you’re allowing.

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In this context, being nice means avoiding conflict and prioritizing others' comfort, often at the expense of your own values.

But being a good person is different. It’s about integrity, authenticity, and doing what’s right, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Over time, I decided to let go of the belief that I always had to be “nice” regardless of how I felt. I’d rather be seen as “cold” than stay stuck in toxic patterns. There’s a quote from You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero that resonates deeply with me: “You are responsible for what you say and do. You are not responsible for whether or not people freak out about it.”

I believe this is absolutely true and aligns with my values and how I choose to approach life today.

Being authentic, I feel, is more valuable to others as well. While I appreciate polite interactions, I prefer honesty over sugar-coating.

I would love to see more women redefine this societal expectation. We don’t owe anyone our niceness, nor are we obligated to smile if we don’t feel like it. Embracing authenticity, even if it means occasionally disappointing others, is what true goodness is about. It comes from self-respect and the courage to stay true to your values, no matter the external pressures.

Express yourself boldly with art that speaks the truth. Embrace authenticity and keep you motivated.